This, dear readers, may come as something of a surprise, but this is my last post on ‘Bend Over Jessica’. Henceforth, my opinions and thoughts will be kept to myself, my play sessions unrecorded by nothing but my head and my rants and moans will be internal. I realise that this may come as something of a bolt from the blue but I think most blogs (with a few honourable exceptions) tend to be here today and gone tomorrow so as I slide back into the ether, there will be other reads to replace me…
I’ve really enjoyed my eight months of writing here and also the contributions from the people who have the patience to read my random spouting. I’d like to say a special thank you to the indomitable Dr Higgins of Lowewood Academy, who is the technical guru behind Bend Over Jessica. As usual, he has been more than a star and I am very appreciative of him. I’ve also enjoyed being a part of the kinkster blogging community and I will still be contributing something to other people’s musings via the comments facility.
These days, it seems like we all live in a goldfish bowl and that privacy, both personally and within relationships can be a difficult commodity to come by. The whole phenomenon that is ‘Social Networking’ – whether that’s blogging, Facebook, Fetlife or Twitter – means that we know more about each other than ever before, especially when you get someone like me. People of my generation are used to living out their lives in public. People older than me are not. I’ve never been embarrassed or ashamed by anything – with me, what you see tends to be very much what you get. Where I have made a mistake was assuming that in giving no-holds barred accounts of a girl’s kinky life and times that it was all right to take the people closest to me along for the ride, without every really asking their permission, to characterise them in the pages of this blog, to give you all a picture of what they are like as people – without ever realising that they didn’t have a right of reply, unless it was in a public arena.
I brought my private life into the public sphere. I’m still fine about that. But He Who Must Be Obeyed is not. It was a remark, made whilst he was a little drunk* that brought home to me that I can’t continue to carelessly parade my hopes, dreams and fears for all to see, because he is bound up in these and he never wanted or desired for the entire world to know, for example, that he eats toast and marmite, is amazing in bed, sometimes forgets to play with me and occasionally lets me down.
Those of you who are UK based may know the infamous Liz Jones who writes a regular column for both The Daily Mail and The Mail On Sunday. Formerly married to Evening Standard Journalist and write Nirpal Dhaliwal, her very public chronicling of her unsatisfactory marriage, its subsequent breakdown and her rediscovery of herself in a rural community was brutally and searingly honest – but as the link here shows, her husband felt that her vitriolic columns were a considerable factor in their break-up, because he felt hurt and belittled at how he was often portrayed to the public.
Liz is a little like marmite – you either admire her honesty and candid voice or you think she is an appalling woman who mercilessly skewered her other half with her pen for money, washing her dirty linen in front of an enthralled public with not a thought as to the hurt that she caused him. I fall into the latter category. So when HWMBO said, in response to a question about whether or not he liked Bend Over Jessica, that ‘often, he feels like Liz Jones’s husband’, I knew it was time to stop writing. Because our relationship is worth more than the friction. I never knew he felt like that, now I do and now it’s time to end.
I could compromise. I could censor myself. I could not write about real-life issues or my personal life. But that’s been part of Bend Over Jessica from the start. Countless people have written to me to say this is what they love about it. So I can’t turn it into a corporate lovefest that paints my life as sunshine and roses. There are always showers and squalls. But equally, for once in my life, I can start keeping my thoughts to myself.
Thanks all for reading!
Jessica xx
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*In Vino Veritas and all that
Well it has been fabulous while it lasted
Think you’re doing the right thing for you, which is the main thing xx
I think you’re so right that what you have with HWMBO is the most important thing. Brave but right decision. xxx
I agree with the others. A relationship is far more important than any blog, so if it feels right to do this then it is. Xx.
I love you. xx
I’ll be really sad to lose your unique voice on these unique topics, but you’ve so obviously made a right, brave, and true choice. xxx
its a shame your blog is going, but can understand why. I have similar feelings now and again as well as to whether sometimes i am sharing too much. I hope you enjoy your continued adventures and hope some day will hear of you again. best wishes.
You are a very special lady xxx
I guess I have to echo what everyone else said, yes, your reationship is the most important thing in the whole world, but I still think it’s so, so sad that we’re going to loose out on reading BOJ and it’ll give back that 10 min hole in my day that Lowewood left… I guess I should be grateful that I’m one of the lucky ones and I’ll have you in my life for real, but I feel bad for the people who won’t. Love you to bits xxx
I’ll certainly miss BOJ, but I completely agree with your priorities! Damn, now I’ll have to find some other place to leave cheeky comments.
Indy xx
Very sorry to see your blog go, but it’s an admirable decision. Big hugs, darling. xx
What they said…
And also, reading what HWMBO wrote, I’m thinking: We were lucky to get to read BOJ, but you’re luckier, because you have someone who’s worth giving it all up for. That is what I call a blessing.
luv & hugs & nice things to the pair of you…
Yours has certainly been one of the more interesting, thought-provoking and sometimes provocative kink blogs over the past months. Whilst your daily musings will be missed, and it’s a shame to see BOJ go, I’d echo the other comments here – that you’ve taken a brave but correct decision if blogging and real-life weren’t in harmony. Thanks for so many good posts here, and big hugs.
You will be missed but real life is more important, and so hopefully you and HWMBO will enjoy many years of happiness.
But you are a bloody good writer and on the assumption you have enjoyed writing as much as we have enjoyed reading hopefully your kinky mind will continue to contribute to the blogosphere in other ways, just making clear it is fiction.
Jessica, I shall miss you, lots.
But you are quite right, your personal life is far more important.
I admire you greatly, I hope that your lives, both you and HWMBO,go the way that you both desire.
Hail and farewell.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Hi Jessica,
I’m sure you know best. Our community will definitely miss your unique views and equally unique way of expressing them.
If you ever change your mind, do let us know!
Hugs,
Bonnie
“Jessica”
If I say I’m your birthday twin, hopefully you’ll remember me.
Sorry to see the end of your excellent blogging but fully appreciative of your reasoning. Drop me an e-mail sometime.
Robert
Thanks for all your candid and engaging thoughts, Jessica. The balance of privacy and honesty is tricky to negotiate and your choice sounds reasonable, responsible and caring.
Now I shall join the throngs of bloggers clamoring for your comments! : )
I’ll certainly miss your blog. But to echo others, it’s the right decision. My mum is a Facebook addict, and my dad (who doesn’t even know how to switch the laptop on) often says “And your mother wonders why I don’t want to go out with her and her friends – all the stuff she puts about me on that computer.” with a sad face. It does make you think.
I’ll keep the link to you on my blog page though, there are hundreds of fabulous posts of yours to read. Plus, yours was one of the first (if not THE first) blog I ever read. Thank you for that.
Smiles and glitter
xx
I haven’t always managed to be a regular blog reader but BOJ is the work of a dear friend and would be missed for that alone, never mind the quality-in-quantity of the content. Like HWMBO, I’m not a fan of the goldfish bowl effect, and have never really understood the apparent desire of many of my friends to expose themselves publicly in this way, both to a wider audience but more importantly at the risk of causing hurt and conflict amongst themselves. Jess has rightly recognised what her priority is with regard to her personal circumstances: stopping at this point is clearly a wise and loving decision. Hugs to both of you, and I hope you find a fulfilling outlet for that fertile mind
Time for that novel, now, Jess, yes?
Jessica -
You definitely should keep writing. You have a gift. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Just to encourage the novel… You write excellently and engagingly. Your life choices are absolutely not mine* but I have found your blog fascinating and utterly addictive to read.
*Since I am old, and bald, and green.
I lurk because what you write amuses and informs. And check what you read elsewhere.
Blogs are like staring at passersby in the window with telepathy switched on.
Stopping for all the right reasons, but know it will be missed. And seems to me both lover and especially HWMBO are just downright lucky musing notwithstanding.