Sitting here, typing this, feeling old.
Oh hang on, and saggy.
Leaving my twenties has turned out to be a real bitch. I suddenly feel totally invisible at parties when surrounded by young things. I am now the ignored one in a group when we go to a club. I even had someone say to me last week * that they weren’t sure if they could come to my birthday party because people would be ‘markedly older’ and he’d feel out of place. I’m five years older than him for Christ’s sake, not five decades!
There is an inherent unfairness between men and women here. Older men are sexy. The new male phenomenon is a ‘HOF’ – Hot Over Fifty. Lots of the guys on sites like Informed Consent are in their forties and fifties and looking for women in their twenties, like those in their thirties are beyond sexiness. True, there are lots of older women, the ‘cougars’ who have younger male boyfriends. But I like to sub best and I like to do that with a man who is older than me**. And now, I’m not even noticed by doms who two or three years ago wanted to play with me. Why don’t they anymore? I don’t look any different. I guess it’s because I’m not ‘fresh meat’…
I’m not blaming or having a go at the Bright Young Things. Hell, I used to be one and it’s lovely to get so much attention and to be wanted and desired. But it does mean that I feel like I have a desert stretching in front of me, with no hope of new playmates unless I turn dom or start lowering my standards. I have been domming quite a lot over the past year (with girls) and have actually turned out to be quite good at it, so I suppose that’s an option. But now, because I’m the older one, if I’m playing with more than one person, the bloody bloke assumes that I’m going to be dom.
What is it about being older? Does no one see you as a sub anymore?
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*Winning the ‘Gordon Brown Tact and Delicacy Award’ for comment designed to cause maximum offence and personal hurt
**Sad but true. Unless they really blow my mind!
Jessica, dear Miss Thirties, for me, I see you as a hot young thing.
Now I’m a H O S, hot over seventy, though no-one has said that recently.
It’s all a matter of perspective, what does it matter what young fools, who can’t see past the end of their noses, say.
All your friends love and respect you, now put the violins away and enjoy life again.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Listen to Paul in his comment above. Yes, you’re in your thirties, and one day we’ll both be in our fourties and fifties and sixites and seventies and eventually all of us get really truly old, so for goodness sake enjoy being pretty, young (because being in your thirties *is* young) because one day you will actually be old and then you’ll think you were a silly banana for thinking thirties is old. How could someone who’s “old” still be getting laid, having great play and have the ability to turn lots of girls into quivering wrecks? There’s more to life than being eighteen, you know. Would you really want to go back to a time before you had knowledge of the scene? Before you had HWMBO? There are about a million downsides to being young and I’m not sure that having a really fast metabolism and pert tits compensate for that.
I play with plenty of lovely bottoms / subs in their thirties, and have done so merrily with those in their forties and above – albeit there seem to be fewer of them around in the scene, something I think will change over time as the generation which has grown up with the internet. embracing their kink whilst still young adults, grows (dis)gracefully older. And I would be horrified if I thought that I’d somehow lose my circle of friends in the scene as time goes by and we all age together, or that I’d end up not playing with them, just because we’re not as young as we were when we first met.
I honestly don’t think age (young or old) needs to be a barrier to consenting adults being happy in the scene, or to playing or being played with. And I’d probably suggest that a top (or HOF – a new phrase to me) who’s looking for someone based on age rather than finding the right kinky match is probably not the sort to be worth playing with.
One’s thirties don’t class as old, anyway: you’re still decidedly a bright young thing. And I for one really enjoyed the rather impromptu hand spanking I gave you at the weekend when I caught you up to no good in the kitchen! Now, where are those birches
I think my above comment sounds a bit sharp now, it’s not meant to, just wanted to say that we all love you and think you’re hot and as far as I can see you’re still very much a bright young thing. I dont think of any of the girls in our circle of friends are anywhere near old. Let’s re-asses this situation when we’re respectivly in our eighties and nineties.
My current quote, seen on one of those silly kitchen aprons, is
Older
Wiser
Sexier
So there
As one approaching the half century in a few months time, Hold your head up and remember that whilst there are many there in their twenties all jostling to be seen, with nothing intelligent to say on the whole.
Ladies in their thirties are just coming in to bloom, can hold a conversation and look for much more satisfaction from quality in everything, rather than quantity.
Give me a beautiful orchid any day…………………………………………….
I’m not sure I should find that picture so amusing given that I’m old enough to be your mother! Well, biologically, anyway. To be honest, it sometimes makes me sad to see you give so much power in this way to what others do and think. And then I remember how much harder it was to turn 30 than to turn 40. It gets better, actually. Most of us women become quite a bit more confident in our 4th decade and it’s rather liberating. I think it’s what got me into the scene, where I’m really enjoying being a middle aged player.