One of the things I like about Christmas is that as we usually have a long, ten day break, and it’s the time when He Who Must Be Obeyed and I do some planning for next year.
We talk about who we need to plan weekends with, what play events we’d like to organise for the new year, what we’ll do for Jessica’s birthday in February. We talk about Lowewood Academy days, reformatories, house parties and other plans. We look at diaries, do dates, work out what weekends we have already committed to things on.
I love this process. One of my favourite things is planning and having BDSM events for friends, whether they are for three, four, six or more people. I love working out what we will do, planning who we might invite, seeing if people are available, anticipating and doing the preparation work.
HWMBO always has a bit of a moan that I’m a social butterfly. But I love it. Because for me, playing is who I am, it is something I really enjoy. One of the reasons I got into doing BDSM events in the first place was because there never seemed to be anything on the scene that was quite my cup of tea – so my solution was to organise my own! The first few were hard but now, if not exactly easy, they have a rhythm of their own, a swing and I love to strive to make each event special. But most of all, I like doing things with other people. I’m hospitable. It’s just me.
It doesn’t always go as well as it should. Mix is important – however hard you try, you sometimes invite the wrong people, who don’t fit, who have their own firm ideas of how things should go and who are only there to pleasure themselves – they don’t care about the group as a whole. Organisation sometimes isn’t enough – like when we went to the house party this year and found out that the whole village was without water due to a burst water main and we had a nail-biting wait to see if it would be restored in time for the party! And when you play with girls, you have the endless issue of hormones* – someone, somewhere is often upset about something**, somebody didn’t notice her, somebody said something slightly amiss and she took it the wrong way, she’s having her period, she feels fat, somebody is really annoying her, why is another someone getting all the attention, it’s just not fair!
(Men, by the way, are rarely like this. Do they secretly cry whilst in the toilet?)
But overall it’s worth it. Because I love it. Here’s to many more kinky days in 2010!
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*This is a catch all term for ‘women’s moods’, which are generally utterly inexplicable.
**I’m not absolving myself of this, I’ve had the odd spectacular temper tantrum!
Men have private bitching sessions to their partners or party companions. They’re just more discreet about it!
Jessica, I don’t envy you, but from what you write you enjoy yourself, and help many others enjoy themselves also.
Not only inexplicable, but also unpredictable.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Thinks it’s rather fab that Jessica is such a social butterfly and organises such fabulous events. I also agree with
Haron about the guys – they just internalize and bitch in private a bit more…
Planning – a wonderful form of foreplay! The same thing happens when I conceptualise a scene or play scenario in my head – its even better when it moves to the note-taking stage! hahaha Thank goodness for little moleskin notebooks…
As for men crying – I think we cry when we lose cherished family members (including pets) but its usually a short bout of welling tears and sobbing – usually followed by a self-led pep talk or having to focus on quelling the irrational anger that follows being made to feel sad. hahaha.
Its not so much about looking weak for why I don’t cry – its more of a ‘you’d better handle your shit’ mentality. Forget trying to be tough, its more that I expect myself to be able to deal with (just about) anything.
Including a natural disaster or zombie invasion for example.