This is the time of the year where you have endless lists – best books of 2009, best film of 2009 and this year, as the end of a decade*, we also have lots of ten-year lists as well. So I thought – what the hell. It’s my turn!
The Kinky Rights Award
This has to go to Max Mosley who took on the News of the World when they invaded his privacy over a private BDSM session and won. At the same time his victory has made it much more difficult for prurient papers to use deception to invade kinky play sessions (group or otherwise) and justify it as being in the public interest. But as is frequently said, the public interest is not always what the public is interested in – and vice versa. Why should our sex lives be used to sell newspapers to Home Counties prudes?
Best Individual Play of the Year
This was a close run thing – but my session with Herr Sechs, the East German Stasi Officer who waylaid me in a hotel in East Berlin and made me betray Queen and Country waltzes off with the prize. Well done to The Lover whose use of pliers and German had me begging for mercy in very short order and who also showed that you don’t have to beat the crap out of someone to indulge in amazing BDSM play. Mental erotic torment at its best!
The Prude of the Year Award
Joint winners here are Harriet Harperson, sorry Harmen, Jessica’s personal bête-noire in her attempts to prove what a good liberal she is by being as authoritarian as possible. Classics this year have included saying that all leadership teams should be 50% women and that men shouldn’t have sex with a girl who has had a drink in case she can’t handle her drink and might consent accidentally to anal sex (I paraphrase slightly here). The other winner is Martin Salter, MP who in his efforts to get ‘extreme pornography’ banned has managed to make photographs of a slightly sore bottom very dodgy territory indeed, much to the despair of spankos everywhere.
Best Group Play of the Year
Much as I enjoyed the House Party in November, my planned kidnap with The Lover, my surprise kidnap and the various Lowewood Academy days, I have to say that my stay in Lord Fawcett’s Institute for Delinquent and Debauched Girls in February sticks in my mind if only for the sheer inventiveness in the myriad amount of painful humiliations that a group of sadistic doms can inflict on you. Domming at its best – and He Who Must Be Obeyed on top form to make it a weekend to remember!
Commentator of the Year.
Two joint winners – Paul for his loyalty and Indy for amusing me. Thanks guys!
The ‘God I Miss You’ Award.
This one falls into two categories. I really miss Lowewood Academy and how much I enjoyed writing for it. And on a more personal note, the lovely Richard Farthingdale decided to give up the scene this year and spend more time with his girlfriend – and my play is all the poorer for it. A much missed friend.
The ‘New People’ Award
As some people drop out, other people join in and I’ve enjoyed meeting and playing with this year, in no particular order – Eliane, Scarlett, Emma-Jane, Graham and Caroline. All girls. Hmmmm. Can I meet some men in 2010?
The ‘Words from the Wise’ Award
Join honours again – to LittleNic for listening to me this year in several times of crisis, including my whingy post last week – and always providing red wine – and to The Cardinal who gives me unflinching, occasionally unwelcome but always truthful takes on life, the scene and everything. When you lose your temper, feel sad or need help, you can always turn to these two!
British Fetish Club of the Year
Other clubs come and go and coolness changes – there’s always a hot new kid on the block – but for sheer staying power, the old lady of Western Avenue, Sweet Torments, still can’t be beaten. They have the nicest staff, the cheapest drinks and lots of chairs. Who needs the London cool kids?
Shag of the Year
This has been a year of excellent sex, however my unexpected double threesome (with The Lover and Scarlett, swiftly followed by HWMBO and Scarlett) at the House Party is certainly the most adventurous. It was all the more fun for being totally spontaneous. More please!
Orgasm of the Year
This is also a clear winner – it was my first orgasm at our February reformatory after The Lover (ironically not present at the reformatory) forbade me from coming for ten days previously, thus inadvertently leading to the build up of such a head of steam that my resulting scream of pleasure was surely heard in every home in a twenty mile radius. Well done to Rebecca for being the person that induced it!
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*Although I am confused. Surely the end of 2010 is the end of the decade?
re * Please let’s not reopen the whole “Millenium really started in Jan 2001″ debate. It was my view at the time but I finally became resigned to the populist attraction of celebrating it a year early.
Jessica, depends from where you start counting, 1-1-00 the decade ends 31-12-09, 1-1-01 the decade ends 31-12-10, take your pick.
There was somewhat of a gentle furor about when the twentieth century ended, as my wife is fond of saying, ” time is an invention of man, and of little consequence in the real world.”
Thanks for the mention.
Hopefully the next year/decade will be even better than the past ones.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
I’d like to thank everyone who made my award (shared three ways with The Lover and HWMBO) possible, my family, my friends, my manager, my stylist…
Oh no wait, that’s my Oscar speech…
Heh I’m honoured and delighted to have made best shag and couldn’t be happier to share it with two such lovely (most of the time!) men.
Love that this includes the BDSM rights and prude of the year sections – is really nice to think about the wider community sometimes rather than just ourselves. And am really chuffed (if a little embarrassed) at my erm ‘contribution’ to things…
^^ Aiming to make the list in some way in 2010. hahaha.
well done to all the winners.
Aw, I’m touched to be a winner. Well done to all my fellow winnies. Or something.
I can’t think of anything wise to say, due to my faint Rapunzel and HWMBO-induced hangover.
Here’s to 2010!