Bend Over Jessica

Last week, in preparation for HWMBO and Jessica’s annual kinky drinks party, we put up the Christmas tree and the rest of the decorations.

Now we live in a kinky house. So entirely aside from the fact that our tree is mostly pink and looks like a crazed Barbie with a crack habit got at it, you can also spot the things that tell the alert kinkster that yes, they are in friendly territory.

First of all the tree…see those candy canes hanging from the branches? Yes, you can help yourself to one. But if you do, you get a forfeit from HWMBO and it means a real cane. On your naked bottom…

Look at the fairy on the top. Isn’t she pretty? But wait a minute. Is that a stuffed frog dressed as an angel on the branch below? Is he looking up her dress? Yes he is the terrible amphibian-pervert. This starring role is played, every year by Fergus, Jessica’s transvestite frog, who is as old as she is.

Ooo, a toy dog in the corner of the room. He looks festive doesn’t he, with his tinsel lead and tinsel ear-muffs. This is Regan, HWMBO’s pet. So he isn’t allowed to wear pink tinsel or a bow, because he is a boy dog. He is not a gay homosexual, to quote Cartman. So he has manly silver tinsel.

Never look up in our house. Because you can guarantee that you will be under a bunch of mistletoe and there will always be someone about to give you a kiss.

And finally, upstairs is Santa’s Grotto. He has presents for good girls. Even if mostly all the ones he sees are bad. But he’s got way of dealing with that as well….