Bend Over Jessica

As most of you will know, ‘Stockholm Syndrome’ is a recognised condition by which people who have been taken prisoner end up sympathising or agreeing with their abductors. According to Wikipedia:

‘Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response sometimes seen in abducted hostages, in which the hostage shows signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker, regardless of the danger or risk in which they have been placed. The syndrome is named after the Norrmalmstorg robbery of Kreditbanken at Norrmalmstorg in Stockholm, in which the bank robbers held bank employees hostage from August 23 to August 28, 1973. In this case, the victims became emotionally attached to their captors, and even defended them after they were freed from their six-day ordeal.’

Famously, Patty Hearst, the heiress kidnapped in the 1970’s, later took part in a bank robbery with her captors, apparently of her own free will, but she was supposed to have been suffering from Stockholm Syndrome – something that wasn’t believed by the court, who jailed her for it!

Now I can’t say whether SS is real or not, but I do know that after my 24 hour kidnap last week, by the following morning, I was feeling very strange indeed. In my write up last week, I didn’t talk about what happened the following morning and afternoon, partly because I didn’t want to be repetitive and also because I don’t think posts should be too long and that one was VERY long!

But having refused to eat any breakfast or drink anything – by now, I hadn’t eaten or drunk for over 18 hours -  and having been forced to exercise outside in the rain in my underwear, I was feeling mutinous. After breakfast had been taken away, uneaten, I felt a little tired and faint and was put to lie on the bed upstairs. I felt cold, even though it was warm in the house.

Straight away, I was whipped and covered with hot wax for refusing to eat and for generally being rebellious. As this ended, I felt so strange and tired and uncaring that I thought I might float away. The Lover (who was my captor) seemed to sense this and after rubbing arnica onto my welted bottom, started to massage my back, which I love. I lay limp, enjoying the sensation. Eventually, as these things happen, his hand stole between my legs and I quickly had an orgasm. But then, even as the sensations subsided, I started to sob. He asked what the matter was and all I could manage to say was that I was sorry for being tiresome and not being obedient. At that point I felt – well – awful. Like I’d been the worst person in the world when all he had done was to look after me.

Later on, at the end of the play, we discussed this response and I’d said I couldn’t understand why I didn’t feel angry with him after he had hurt me and used me so comprehensively ‘against my will’.
It was his thought that it was the onset of SS. I was intrigued by this thought. For me, I wasn’t sure if it was that or that my genuine submissive feelings were aroused by the fact I knew that he, outside the play, was worried by my refusal to eat and as a result of that, I felt guilty.

But really, it was a strange sensation at the time – where I thought afterwards that had he said at that moment – “I’m going to kill you now” – I don’t think I’d have fought it.* The way I felt, I would just have accepted it as one of those things. A pretty terminal thing, but one of them.

Strange. Something to ponder during sleepless nights.

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*Jessica reassures her readers that none of her playmates have any homicidal tendencies!