Why is there such a difference between being humiliated in a BDSM context and in real life?
For example, this week, three people at work, in quick succession, one of them my boss, called me variously ‘a useless moron’, a ‘waste of space’ and ‘an idiot’.
I don’t mind admitting that meant being in floods of tears in the loo.
However, this week, a playmate told me that I wasn’t to be an ‘uppity little bitch’.
Which was totally hot…
So why is it that in real life, when I get humiliated, degraded and abused, I don’t like it, but in play I do? I wonder if there is any connection between my very menial job where I have no control over my own destiny and my submissive urges. If I wasn’t a submissive, would I have a better job? Or vice versa?
I’ve always thought that being a submissive is a good thing, until I realise that in my working life, it’s not good. Because it means that I allow people to walk all over me. But sometimes I can’t help thinking that I deserve it, because if I was a better person, it wouldn’t happen to me.
I’m always surprised and envious when people tell me that they enjoy their jobs, that they are defined by them. If I won the lottery on Saturday, I’d stop my job without a backward glance and I wouldn’t miss it in the slightest. Work for me is purgatory and by 9am on Monday morning, I’m already longing for the weekend. I think what I find worst is the sheer boredom of it, the switching off of your brain cells, the dullness, the lack of interest. Then you think that you have another forty years of working life to go and you realise why people fling themselves off Beachy Head.
It’s because the phone is ringing and their boss is on the end of it. For this reason, I have never found secretary/boss roleplay remotely sexy!
Jessica, I think such behavior from your boss and colleagues is unacceptable.
I realise that due to the current economic situation, changing jobs could be difficult.
Never the less looking will do your morale good.
Someone with your undoubted organisational and writing talents shouldn’t be that hard to place.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Well, I could never do what you do, because I lack the organisation and interpersonal skills that you’ve got. So I can’t imagine what words those people would call me… They just don’t know how good they’ve got it with you there!
I can’t believe the lack of common courtesy in the workplace – people are so thoughtless and rude…
I guess hating your job just makes the weekend more fun… like yesterday when a four year old threw a Disney princess jigsaw at my head and told me she hated me, and her father told me I needed to “bond” with her. Luckily there are at least a great deal of other things to look forward to… nothing wrong with living for the weekend. Oh and if I win the euromillions I promise I’ll share.
xxx
I find that dealing with people at work isn’t so different from dealing with small children. After all, “I’ll be glad to discuss this with you when you can be civil” is pretty much the same as, “I’ll be glad to talk to you about this after you calm down.” I’m not a huge fan of convention for convention’s sake, but the lack of civility in our society suggests that a bit more attention to etiquette would be a good thing. Just don’t ask me to read Debrett’s! Unless it’s part of a really good scene…
The people at your work are douchebags. (No calls for civility from me!) I bestow unto you a valuable word, to be used in times of douchebaggery: from my native Detroit, the word “Bitchplease.”
As in:
Douchebag: Jessica, you’re [insert stupid falsehood].
Jessica: Bitchplease!
Use it well.
Its a bit of a strange one. Some submissives are control freaks in ultra-high positions and need the outlet…however, Im a bit like you.
A really thought provoking post…thank you!
See for me, a lot of my workmates sort of treat me childishly because it’s just my natural demeanour sometimes. So I’m quite lucky in that things will get explained in a completely different way to what they would somebody else. I love my job. I wish you loved yours! x