It’s strange how sometimes you can still find play pleasurable and yet not get an orgasm out of it.
Now, not all my play is sexual. Most of our group play (with the few odd exceptions) is entirely non-sexual (despite the fact that all present, I think, find it quite hot). Neither I nor He Who Must Be Obeyed are into swinging, so anything rude tends to be got up to behind closed doors. But generally, when I’m with a playmate whom I fancy, it gets rude and eventually, there are orgasms involved.
Just not at the moment. And that’s for the simple embarrassing reason that I can’t!
I’ve had some great plays lately, with HWMBO, with Rebecca and with The Lover. I’ve enjoyed them immensely and they’ve all got off and enjoyed themselves as well. But when it comes to my turn, I just can’t.
I’ve always though it must be hard work being a bloke, because when you’re not turned on, it’s pretty obvious to the girl you are with! With girls, you can play without obvious signs, but one thing you can’t do is orgasm if you’re not in the mood – and I refuse to fake, because it’s not fair on the person that you’re playing with.
I have no idea what is causing the sudden lack of ability – I’m normally very orgasmic and to be honest, I’m finding it depressing, especially as I know it upsets my playmates because they think they’ve done something wrong. And I don’t understand it – I am physically ready to and my head is in the right place, but at the moment, I have the female equivalent of brewer’s droop.
I’m not sure if it’s possible to actually expire from lack of orgasms, but even my trusty vibrator isn’t working for me at the moment and I’m determined not to lie there getting stressed about it and grimly trying to force myself. It’s meant to be a pleasure, not a chore! But I haven’t had one for ten days!!!! Arghghghg!
Anyway, any suggestions welcome. I’m feeling deprived!
If only I was at home, I’d be beetling around there with my magic wand!
But I guess with problems of this sort, it’s as much about head space – and you’re right, stressing about it will only make it worse.
Bizarrely, I find myself wishing sometimes I was less orgasmic – as play tends to end at that point, and when that point happens oh-so-quickly it’s a bit frustrating (as I really like all the pleasurable sensations, which I can’t do myself, as opposed to just the orgasm, which I can).
Women. Can’t please any of them, huh?
Hope you rediscover your o-mojo soon!
Hi!
Yes I understand your frustration perfectly! I feel the same at the moment…Im so stressed…and have no outlet of play at the moment…but orgasms….few and far between…
Just bought new batteries for my vibrators…surely that HAS to work?
By the way…have been a long time lurker on your site..so have added you to my blogroll…hope you don’t mind (its a brand new blog!) and feel free to come visit if you wish!