It is a well-known fact to Jessica’s friends that Jessica does not iron. Partly because none of her clothes need ironing, apart from a few blouses for work. It’s not that Jessica can’t iron – indeed, she has a Girl Guide ‘Housekeeper’ badge, for which she learnt to iron. It’s just that she chooses not to. If she needs a blouse for school, either Uncle James irons it for her or she wears it crumpled*
So one morning last week was a bit of a departure as it saw Jessica doing hard labour over an ironing board. What was she ironing, I hear you cry? Well, kinky clothes of course. Specifically, eight reformatory dresses – four grey dresses for day and four black dresses for evening**. These were for the four new inmates of the Lowewood Institute for Delinquent and Debauched Girls, the forthcoming weekend play.
Anyway Jessica wanted to have a moan.
“It’s not fair.” she whined to HWMBO. “Why do I have to iron everyone’s dresses? Why can’t the others iron their own?”
HWMBO has ways of dealing with whiny wives.
“Would you like to use the flat irons?” he asked sweetly.
Jessica did not. Flat irons, which wives and servants struggled with before the invention of electric irons have to be heated in the oven and then you struggle with trying to pick them up soon enough to iron things without burning off your hand.
HWMBO is really mean sometimes.
*****************************************
*And gets house points deducted if Miss Cavendish notices.
** It’s a posh reformatory, which benefits from Lord Fawcett’s endowment. There’s Sunday Best as well!
Jessica, a reformatory Matrons work is never done.
Delinquent is fairly common these days, but who gets to do the debauching?
I’m looking forward to your Lowewood report.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
You mean the sheets aren’t ironed at Madam Rosie’s Brothel “Your pleasure is our bussiness” ?
I would happily have taken over the ironing you silly sausage, though I was quite amused by HWMBO’s mantra of “Jessica, don’t leave the iron on the dress!”
You need a maid.
I am so with you about ironing, though I’ll give it a desultory effort at spanking parties. My girl scout badge-earning came to a rapid halt when I realized I’d have to make my bed to get a housekeeping badge. I couldn’t understand the point if I was just going to mess it up again that evening.
Okay, now I’m just horrified that the girl scouts (or guides, or whatever!) made you do a Housekeeping badge! What happened to surviving in the wilderness and girlpower and… and… er, thin mints?
@Maidie – are you volunteering? Nobody else wants to!
@Graham – Housekeeper was only one of the myriad girl guide badges I had (polishes halo). I had Outdoor cook and outdoor chef, camping, advanced camping, surrvival, hostess, naturalist, agility, sportswoman (x 3), gymnast, rambler, handywoman…ooo the list goes on! So not all girly!
Jessica, you know I would if I was there – ages since I did anyone’s ironing (apart from my own). Sounds like I’d have a lot to gain from joining the guides! (Though himself’s face if I turned up in a guides outfit would be worth it in itself!)
Well I for one was very grateful of your ironing efforts. And I guess HWMBO couldn’t be trustd to do it either
HWMBO can’t be trusted with irons, from what I heard last week!