I spent some time last week re-writing my profile on the BDSM site Informed Consent, which is a cross between a dating site, a community site and a forum site. It’s really good and I’ve met some lovely people through it. You can find me there as Rapunzel.
I re-write my profile every so often and also refresh my photos – partly to prove that I am still an active member of the site and also because I’m not always looking for the same thing, so sometimes update my profile to reflect this. Also, profiles tend to get more replies – i.e. offers of dates – when you haven’t said the same thing for the last six months!
I was thinking last night how different BDSM sites tend to have a certain ‘feel’ to them and you end up gravitating to one or two specific ones. Now I’ve been a member of Informed Consent (IC) for seven years, which shows it’s one of my all time favourites. I like the combination of being able to find dates through it, but also to take part in the online community there, catch up with friends, contribute to the boards, look at events etc etc. IC people tend to be bright and somewhat esoteric.
I have recently joined Fetlife and am having a little go on there – but I’m not taking to it in the same way as I took to IC, probably because I don’t have Facebook, so the whole concept of poking and writing on walls is alien to me! Still, I will persevere there. For a long time, I was also a member of British Spanking, which whilst I flick through it from time to time, I now tend to avoid, because I meet more people my own age on IC and Fetlife and British Spanking is, rightly or wrongly, seen as a place for older people and only for those who are interested in corporal punishment – whereas IC has a much boarder base of interest, so you tend to get more variety. My worst experience has been with Gumtree – for which I probably only have myself to blame, given that it’s known as a site for casual sex. But although I got lots of replies to my advert, they were mostly of the ‘hey wanna meet tonite for sx? I am hung’ variety. Yuk. I prefer to establish that the man I’m going to play with has more than one functioning neuron thanks, preferably not only in his cock!
Since I started blogging, I’ve also been surprised and touched to receive emails from all over the world, although mostly from girls looking to build friendships as oppose to chaps fancying dates!
But it’s a world away from the old day of replying to box numbers. Isn’t the internet wonderful!
Jessica, I’m not very good at social networking, I wish such had been available when I was much younger.
I belong to BS and Fetlife, fortunately I’m not looking for dates.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
i’m with you there – not sure how i would have functioned without it….
Yeah… or just find lovely people who introduce you to other lovely people. That’s probably really lazy but it does tend to save on people who want you shave off all your hair and get their face tatooed on the back of you head. I’ve added on on Fetlife but I don’t really “get” it, even as a facebook lover.
PS. Gumtree is great for looking for au pair/nannying jobs!
IC is the best but I’m also on fetlife and a total facebook slut (my uni was first in the uk to get it about 5 years ago before it went global). I have to plug gumtree though – I met the lovely/mean boy interest on there…
Spankfinder and Fetlife have done it for me. Through Spankfinder I met Frank and Caroline and through Fetlife I met Abel and HH and from them everyone else
I’ve met people through blogs (some in person, most not) and at the bigger U.S. parties like Florida Moonshine and Shadow Lane. To this point, I suppose I’ve been conducting an immersive anthropological study of the spanking community (including myself, of course) rather than really looking for dates. I can’t say that FetLife leaves me very inspired. But I suppose it’s time to put myself out there a little more and cheerfully weed through the clueless responses to find the potential keepers. I do wish people would actually read what I go to the trouble of writing before they respond, though.
I can’t get on with Fetlife at all. So many different groups to hunt through to find something interesting to comment on / discuss – and not only is everything splintered down into topics, each topic seems to have dozens of different boards!
I’ll stick to IC, it’s changed my life.