One of the not-so-fun things about leading a life of debauched hedonism is that you need to find someone to do it with. Debauched hedonism on your own isn’t that good – your hand gets tired or the battery runs out on your vibrator. Besides, it doesn’t really sound very cool, in response to a question about ‘what did you do last night?’ to say ‘oh, I spent it in with my vibrator and a packet of chocolate biscuits’ as opposed to ‘we went to this exclusive play party where everyone was a supermodel or a male tennis player and no WAG’s were allowed’.
So. For proper debauched hedonism, you need partners-in-crime.
Now, He-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed is pretty good on the joining in front, but even he complains that I exhaust him. So, to solve this – and also to add a little bit of variety* – I have playmates. Some are very regular and very important to me, such as The Lover and some are occasional but still lots of fun. As time goes by, playmates change – one of us gets bored, the playmate gets a girlfriend or boyfriend, they move away etc etc. So to feed the constantly churning maw that is Jessica, I need to do a lot of flirting** and playmate-hunting***.
I’ve had a bit of a dry patch of late. No one has responded to my cunningly-worded advertisements on selected websites. I haven’t met anybody good at clubs or munches. No one has been recommended to me by friends. I haven’t annexed anyone’s boyfriend (with their permission!!!).
So I’m please to report Dear Readers that the last couple of weeks have finally proved fruitful. I am in advanced flirtation stage – planning to go out for a drink with – no less than three potential playmates. Knowing my luck, one will turn out to be a serving Member of Parliament, one will be a drug addict and the third will be a Scientologist. I’m not sure if the MP or the cult member is worse! But at least I have three planned dates and some drinking to do. Hurrah! Watch this space!
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*Variety is the spice of life. Probably cardamom.
** It’s a terrible job but someone has to do it.
***Like foxes, but without the tearing limb from limb bit
Yay!! Dates, dates, dates. We look forward to hearing all the gossip about said MPs, Drug Addicts and cult members!
Jessica, I’m with Eliane, I shouldn’t worry about the MP, he probably won’t be for much longer.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Not one, but three dates?! Must take a leaf out of your book! Do you give lessons?
That’s a good effort – fingers crossed at least one of them turns out normal…
Oooh, have fun
xxx
Totally agree: it has to be cardamom.
Good luck!